Monday, August 09, 2004
today..i've got a bad day..indeed i really miss my brand new breath so fuckin much..but when i see him -my ex life breath-..i'm just see his nickname in chatting..but also i see his picture in my album photos..i feel so fuckin hurt again in my brain..it's really push my breath..i really can't breath..so fuckin hurt here inside my fuckin head..lately i never been cryin..but today..i must lost my fuckin tears again..when he said her name..i'm sick..i'm hurt..then i'm cry again..what for indeed? i dunno..i'm just cant mock my fuckin self..dumb..i'm stupid..and i really unworthy..
i don't wanna hurt anyone..but i know when i wrote this..somebody will be hurt..
but i'm just wanna he -my brand new breath- understand me..trust me..
i'm lovin you now..more than everythin..i don't wanna losing you like i'm losing everyone before..i wanna keep you here inside my life..for forever..i wanna you to be the last one..i wanna forget the past..so just help me to forget that fuckin past..coz i really know..i can't do that..-not yet-..
i would you to understand me now..
this not means you can't change his position..
you're not the in stead of him..coz you're different with him...
now trust on me..you're the only one..
so just give the time to be healed from that fuckin pain...
i'm sorry for wrote all of this...
i really love jah now..so fuckin much...
like you always said to me...
" i really fuckin love you "
*(for my Eldorado)*

-scream of my brain faced death at 7:27 PM

--